Sunday, June 8, 2014

Religion 1

I wish my parents had let me choose my religion, I really do. My dad comes from a very Catholic family, and my mom comes from a Lutheran family. I am Catholic because I was told to be. Now that I am 19, my dad doesn't want me to lose my faith. I was told I have a choice in whether I go to church or not, but I don't. I am constantly guilt tripped into going, mostly by myself. I know that I'll get coerced into it already, and I feel half bad about not wanting to go and then I end up going. I don't have a choice and I'm angry about it. This is all made even fucking better by the fact that I don't know what I believe. It makes me angrier and I get even more angry when I am forced to go to church and end up thinking about what if this is all real or if this is all fake. Red vs. Blue is a great webseries, and in the very first episode one of the characters said something, while not to be taken too seriously, that clicks with me.
"One of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence? Or is there really a God, watching everything. You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know man, but it keeps me up at night."
This clicks with me because that is what I have been wondering for the past two years. I don't know, maybe I should try to accept my fate until I move out.

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