Sunday, June 15, 2014
I'm not a huge fan of summer. Not big on heat or the fact that I look like a ghost every time I am outside. I hate the feeling of uselessness I have. I don't have a paying job, I'm not talented, and I'm easily bored. Not so much bored as I am disinterested. During the school year I am so much more active, which is why I try doing more things. Now I'm just a blob who sits around until I feel like going outside for an hour to play with my flag. It's something I just can't seem to get over. My friends are all either working, taking classes, or live too far away to do anything. I love my sister and I love hanging out with her, but she's more content to be alone. I feel like I'm not doing any good for anyone or myself. My mind gets blank and I don't think about much. I become a mindless drone, just doing whatever. It's annoying and I'm crying a little while typing this. I hate it. Unfortunately, this seems like a precursor to the rest of my life. I feel like I should just accept it, but I can't. There's nothing for me to do though. I know complaining about it won't do jack shit, but it helps me feel better.