Monday, February 9, 2015

Anxiety 1

So, ever since last year I've been very nervous and panicky about...well, everything to be honest. Death mostly. I think about it more than normal. The future is something I'm also extremely scared about. I'm very nervous about it and it's normal to be nervous, but not as nervous as I am being every goddamn day. Driving is another thing. I got my license a few months ago, and I'm still super scared to drive. What if I don't make it home? is the only thing I think about, only I don't show it. It's a feeling I've accepted. I hate it, though. I know I should stop worrying, because I'm probably fine.
I also worry about my family to no end. I love them dearly, and if anything were to happen to them I would be devastated. I'm sure a lot of people would feel that way if someone they loved was hurt or killed. It's another one of those things that is constantly on my mind.
I am tearing up while typing this. That sucks.
But I have no idea if it's anxiety or if it's just me worrying too much.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Death 2

Monty Oum has passed away. If you don't know who he is, he worked for Rooster Teeth. He was a brilliant man, and is gone to soon. While I have never met him, I know that his work brought a lot of joy to many people. I kind of want to cry. I will continue to pray for his family and friends.
Over the past few days, I've been thinking more and more about what death means. I'm not sure if I believe in heaven, honestly. I don't know what will happen, but the end of everything is so scary to me. I can't handle the thought.